Gym Etiquette 101: 5 Fashion Faux Pas

This may seem trite, but high up on my list of pet peeves concerning gym etiquette is what people wear at the gym.

What does what I wear to the gym have to do with exercise?

A lot. Not only does what you wear at the gym tell me oodles about who you are as a person, it tells me even more about how you are going to conduct yourself on the gym floor.

When implements weighing as much as 3x my bodyweight are being pushed, pulled, thrown and dropped on the floor around me and my clients, I’m always overly cautious and judgmental of people who wear (or don’t wear) the following items:

#1 Jeans

3 jeans working outCasual Friday?

If you are wearing jeans at the gym (i.e. the jeans you were wearing BEFORE you entered the building) I know you spent exactly 0 minutes preparing, mentally or physically, for your workout. You are a liability, to yourself and those around you. If I see you wearing jeans while working out I know you will most likely:

A. Sit on a piece of equipment for hours pretending you know what you are doing, and/or
B. Carelessly throw dumbells to the floor to prove wearing jeans to the gym is totally badass.

skinny jeans workoutYes, those are skinny jeans… I apologize in advance for the nightmares.

*This rule especially extends to personal trainers. It makes my blood boil to see trainers giving a session in jeans. I’m not saying you have to wear a matching velour Adidas tracksuit, but jeans? Come on. Nothing screams, “I don’t give a shit” like not even trying to play the part of fitness expert.

#2 Short Shorts (and tiny sports bras)

I love that she’s still looking right at them.

Conversely, some people do not wear ENOUGH clothing to the gym. Ladies and gentleman, please, do everyone a favor – put on your shorts, turn your back to a mirror, bend over, then check what bits and pieces might be hanging out for the world to see.

short shortsI love that you’re still looking right at them.

If it is either underwear or unmentionables (or both) DO NOT WEAR those shorts to the gym.

There’s nothing more distracting than knowing someone is one rep away from a nut slip or some other tragic wardrobe malfunction.

boobs3..2..1! Bustoff!

boob2I’m not sure what’s worse –
the crap moves in this fitness class or
the dudes who subjected themselves to being photographed like this.

Not to mention, it’s kinda gross to have that much personal contact with public weightlifting equipment.

Unacceptable personal contact with weights

#3 Flip Flops

I will admit, Eric and I sometimes get a little excited when we see someone enter the gym floor wearing flip flops. Immediately we wonder if they are there to train barefoot. Inevitably we figure out they are just a*!holes.

flops-at-gym and boxersFlip flops AND I’m pretty sure those are boxers!!!

It is pretty much insanity to wear flip flops in a weight room. Have you ever dropped anything on your toes before? I bet you have. Well multiply that pain by about a billion and that’s what having an 80 lb dumbbell tossed onto your foot feels like. (And believe me, some guy wearing jeans will probably be carelessly throwing dumbbells near you and your beautiful, soon to be squashed footsies.)

Wearing flip flops is especially a bad idea on cardio equipment.

Treadmill vs Man in Flip Flops = Hilarious.

Still considering wearing your flippy floppies to the gym? This link contains a few images of what can happen to your foot when iron meets your piggily wiggiglies. WARNING: Contains gross and graphic images… DO NOT click if you are a soft soul. LINK

This also goes for any other toe baring footwear. At this juncture I don’t think I need to explain why wearing high heels while working out is a shitty idea, do I?

Coco-Works-Out-in-High-HeelsI can’t imagine anything more stupid… oh wait there’s still numbers 4 and 5…

#4 Sunglasses

sunglasses workout

You are not Ray Charles. Period. End of discussion.

#5 Dudes in Cut Up Tank Tops

ripped shirt center

A cut up tank tells me vanity has a vice grip on your balls. Mike Boyle actually has a no tank tops for men rule at his gym and I can see why. I don’t necessarily have anything against tank tops per say, however, if you are a dude wearing a cut up tank top I know you are going to spend more time checking yourself out in the mirror than working out.

situationPretty much a window to your soul.

How do I know?

A. You spent valuable time and effort taking scissors to that poor (probably already too tight) wife beater.
B. You probably spent even more time checking yourself out in your freshly hacked garment before you left home.

douche ripped shirtTee shirt or lobster bib, you decide!

Seriously though, I just don’t have time to watch you eye-f*ck yourself in between every gun-pumping set while waiting for you to finish using the ONLY pair of 25lbs dumbbells in the entire gym.

#6 BONUS!!! Wearing your baby to the gym.


Remember when I said I couldn’t think of anything more stupid?

wearing babyThe end.

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